Follow your Bliss

My friend, Amy, started a stationery business recently and when I complemented her on her work, she responded, "You know what they say: 'follow your bliss'. Today, I took those words to heart as I officially requested another year's leave of absence from the school district. In essence it was an easy decision because time spent with Tyler is pure bliss.

One of my friends from Parent/Baby class went back to work to see if "she was so wrapped up in baby" that she did not realize that there was more to life out there. But after a couple of months, she made the adjustments so she could return home. We are both blessed to have healthy, happy babies and capable, committed, hard-working spouses who make this luxury possible. As far as the practical side goes, I keep saying that I am finally going to get serious about having a real budget. Maybe now I will have the motivation it takes since the more I save the longer I can stay home. My friend, Nate, gave me a Dave Ramsey book that he swears by as a guide to home finances. This needs to go to the top of my reading pile.

Amy also said once about her toddler son, "I know it is cliche, but he is 'my pride and joy'." As cliche as it is, it sure resonates in my mother-heart. Every month, I think this is the best age so far. On Monday, Tyler and I visited my friend, Abed, for tea. At nearly eight months, Tyler enjoys meeting new people and won over even Abed, a retiree, with no children of his own who confesses he really isn't a baby person. Tyler sat tall, rocked side-to-side and flapped his arms as he happily engaged our attention. He babbled and carried on with Abed, who delighted, grabbed his camera. All the while, I snuck in some adult conversation about current conditions in the Middle East and American politics.

As the months fly by, you have little epiphanies like, oh, wow, Tyler isn't drooling anymore, he spits up rarely, and the screaming phase is over! Without the spit-up, he has the best baby smell ever. The other days that seem so distant are those of the newborn poop. Many of these revelations have come to me since I started caring for another baby a couple of times of week. Z, at six weeks younger, reminds me what amazing changes infants make in such a short period of time. With his new companion, Tyler seems at times to try to live up to his "mature" age by showing concern for Z and trying to involve him in play. "See, Z, this is how you bang two blocks together." At other times, when I am tied up with Z and cannot get to him, Tyler melts down, and becomes his baby self again.

Caring for another baby, has also drawn into sharp relief the special bond that mother and baby share. Everyday of his life, Tyler and I nurture each other. Chemically, biologically, emotionally, practically we are connected to one another. We experience such joy from a gaze, a smile, a kiss. I become more adept each week at meeting Z's needs, but it will never come so naturally or magically as it does with his own mom. Just as Z and M do, Tyler and I fill each other's cups. And then Tyler I delight when Anthony returns home to complete our circle.