Follow your Bliss

My friend, Amy, started a stationery business recently and when I complemented her on her work, she responded, "You know what they say: 'follow your bliss'. Today, I took those words to heart as I officially requested another year's leave of absence from the school district. In essence it was an easy decision because time spent with Tyler is pure bliss.

One of my friends from Parent/Baby class went back to work to see if "she was so wrapped up in baby" that she did not realize that there was more to life out there. But after a couple of months, she made the adjustments so she could return home. We are both blessed to have healthy, happy babies and capable, committed, hard-working spouses who make this luxury possible. As far as the practical side goes, I keep saying that I am finally going to get serious about having a real budget. Maybe now I will have the motivation it takes since the more I save the longer I can stay home. My friend, Nate, gave me a Dave Ramsey book that he swears by as a guide to home finances. This needs to go to the top of my reading pile.

Amy also said once about her toddler son, "I know it is cliche, but he is 'my pride and joy'." As cliche as it is, it sure resonates in my mother-heart. Every month, I think this is the best age so far. On Monday, Tyler and I visited my friend, Abed, for tea. At nearly eight months, Tyler enjoys meeting new people and won over even Abed, a retiree, with no children of his own who confesses he really isn't a baby person. Tyler sat tall, rocked side-to-side and flapped his arms as he happily engaged our attention. He babbled and carried on with Abed, who delighted, grabbed his camera. All the while, I snuck in some adult conversation about current conditions in the Middle East and American politics.

As the months fly by, you have little epiphanies like, oh, wow, Tyler isn't drooling anymore, he spits up rarely, and the screaming phase is over! Without the spit-up, he has the best baby smell ever. The other days that seem so distant are those of the newborn poop. Many of these revelations have come to me since I started caring for another baby a couple of times of week. Z, at six weeks younger, reminds me what amazing changes infants make in such a short period of time. With his new companion, Tyler seems at times to try to live up to his "mature" age by showing concern for Z and trying to involve him in play. "See, Z, this is how you bang two blocks together." At other times, when I am tied up with Z and cannot get to him, Tyler melts down, and becomes his baby self again.

Caring for another baby, has also drawn into sharp relief the special bond that mother and baby share. Everyday of his life, Tyler and I nurture each other. Chemically, biologically, emotionally, practically we are connected to one another. We experience such joy from a gaze, a smile, a kiss. I become more adept each week at meeting Z's needs, but it will never come so naturally or magically as it does with his own mom. Just as Z and M do, Tyler and I fill each other's cups. And then Tyler I delight when Anthony returns home to complete our circle.

232 Days

On one of the longest, and sunniest days of the year, 232 days ago, Tyler was born sunny-side up. It is amazing what happens in 232 days. The sleepy, seven-pound cone-head with a light dusting of reddish brown hair, gray eyes and an orange tint is now a round and rosy twenty-pounder with as much personality as any proud parents would hope for. At seven and a half months, he has deep mossy brown eyes and a slightly more generous layer of hair, and babbles constantly when he is content with his place in the world. When he is most happy, his vocalizations are accompanied by a jaunty rocking side-to-side, either while seated or while standing in his exersaucer. This waving motion can be so strong that he often manages to scoot the saucer across the floor until he bumps into the coffee table.

In recent days his babbling has become more sophisticated. While aye, aye, aye, sometimes sounding like "hi", used to be his constant refrain, he now plays with da, da, ta, ta, and, ra, ra. As if to prevent Mom 's envy, he also has been known to say ma or mom. I'm sure I also heard him say dog this morning. :) X or H sounds at the back of his throat are also very satisfying. In the bath tonight, he was patting my stomach and I responded, "Mama's belly". I could of sworn, he repeated belly back to me with a Spanish "yuh" pronunciation of the l's. Sorry, Aunty Lindsay it will be a longtime before those l's are clear. I was encouraging the ra, ra for Uncle Ryan's sake though. We are much relieved that he is playing with the quality of his voice now more than the volume. Last week, he was exhausting my patience with the near screaming pitch and magnitude of his communication.

Sometimes, the experimentation with is mouth is not limited to making sounds. Twirling his tongue and manipulating his lips into asymmetrical shapes seems to occur almost unconsciously and constantly these days. Also, on the non-verbal end of the spectrum, Tyler may be beginning to use his first sign. This afternoon at play group a couple of moms noticed him balling his hands into fists repeatedly. I laughed it off, saying that Anthony had poo-pooed my claim that he was conscious of this sign's connection to milk and nursing. But then, his whining also began to indicate that, in fact, Tyler was hungry. So now I am even more deliberate about reinforcing this hand motion before and after his feedings. Other signs we use frequently include: more or again, please, Dad, Mom, and all done. Occasionally we remember to show thank you and teach more foods like apple, carrot, peas, and so on. My friend Caroline, believes her daughter, who is two days younger than Tyler, is now understanding "change" as in time to change my diaper. At any rate, I am determined to observe Tyler's hands more carefully to see if he approximates more or all done which we repeat so often.